Cures

On Friday my sister slept over at my place (YAY).
We had a conversation that I think about every once in a while.

I beleive that we have found the cures for cancer and AIDS, but that the pharmaceutical company's a forbidden to release them.

Imagine the world just one moment without cancer. I believe that our days every one out of two person dies from a type of cancer. If we had a cure the world would all of a sudden be over crowded, no? Yes we would be happy that our loved ones would still be alive, but the world would maybe be a little chaotic. And of course all those pharmaceutical company they make so much money with chemotherapy and radiotherapy and all, they would loose way too much money if they just sold the cure.

And the the cure for AIDS. Lets just take Africa, a continent where most kids are born with the disease and die of it. Lets says the cure was releases. Yeah it is a poor continent, but they never get the chance to live past their 20's. How do you want theses countries to get education and make the economy move. I beleive this cure would save live, without bringing so much chaos.

Yes in both situation at the beginning it would be hard, but I see past all of that.
I see a world with less misery and so much happiness.

2 other months

Hey guys!

I'm still alive and doing much much better.
I should be back to work in 2 weeks (yay!)
I am going completely nuts over shoes.
Counting the days before I move into my new place.
I'm still going to the gym.
I reunited with an old friend from high school and had a blast (will do again).
And I got in touch with my friend from this post
My godson gave us a scare when he had a allergic reaction to peanuts and had to be driven to the hospital by ambulance (Thank God he is fine)
Summer is finally starting to show signs that it is on it's way, I read a book sitting outside for the first time today since last summer.
After all these dark months, there is light at the end of the tunnel.
For the first time ever I am an absolute fan of American Idol (I'm rooting for Scotty) and the Amazing race (I'm rooting for Mallory and her dad).

Have a great week my friends!

PS: If you have a few minutes stop by my blog friend Chana's. She is going through a hard time and she needs all the prayers and positive energies she can get.

3 months later

Hi everyone!

Yes, I am still alive :)

Here's a little bit of what has been going on in these past months.

I still am in therapy, it is a very long process, but I do see a little improvement.
I have not returned to work yet and I sure miss it.
I bought a new car and almost ended up dating the sales guy.
My godson turned one a few days ago.
Doctors orders, I now go to the gym with a trainer 3 times a week.
I have started apartment hunting as I decided to move for July first.

That's about it, nothing big. I keep on reading your blogs, I know I don't comment much, but I am here. I just don't feel the urge to write in English at the moment, but I felt like I owed you guys a little update.

Thanks to all of you that have written to me in the mail or by email, it means the world to me to know that you are there.

I love ya all! (mouah)

Acupuncture

This morning I did my first session of acupuncture.
I was very nervous when I got there and also panicking a little.
The lady was very nice and took her time. She explained everything.

I felt no pain and learn a new way how to breathe.
Even if I am not convinced 100% that it can do me good I left there with positive thoughts in my mind and hoping for the best.

I'll keep you guys posted after a few more sessions.

Ever tried...

I have been thinking about acupuncture and many people around me do recommend it. I'm not afraid of needles, but I don't see how putting needles through my skin can make me feel better. Isn't voodoo the same and it hasn't ever done any good from what I've heard. I took an appointment next Monday; I'll let you know how it goes.

What about hypnosis? Again lots of people around me tell me that it could cure some of my phobias. I've read about it a lot and from what I've discovered it takes many sessions to start having an effect and it is if it does work on you as not everyone can get hypnotized.

So have ever tried either? or any similar practices?

Update

Hi everyone,

I am back from my craziness.
Here is what has been going on (here’s a long post)

-Me and D decided that it would be best for both of us if I moved out, so I went apartment hunting, for a great little place that I love in a part of town that I adore. My dad and my sister took a day off and helped me to cleaned the place and carry all the boxes I had. On Sunday D and one of my friends moved all my furniture (including a new couch, new shelves, new coffee tables) The same night my dad and my mom came back to help me with the finish some little thing. I still have to buy a few things as my walls are empty, but it starting to look like home J

-The triplets (my godson and sisters) are doing great getting fatter everyday. The parents had a hard time seeing them get their firsts vaccines.

-Work has been completely insane and it doesn’t look like anything is going to calm down. I love it; it makes the days go by so much faster.

-My best friend came over for a surprise visit and she met a guy in her part of the world (I am very happy for her) I am sad that she finally decided not to move back to Montreal anymore, but thanks to technology we still speak or chat almost everyday.

-I am in love with my star crush Jaroslav Halak, and he is kicking ass in the playoffs for the Stanley cup J

-I saw the heart doctor again and I have more tests to do at the beginning of June. He said not to worry, but to still hold off going to gym until he gets the results of the tests.

-I got all the result form all the test I did for the weeks I was sick after I came back from vacation and all is ok, but I am still not feeling 100%. My family doctor says it is all related to anxieties (and God knows I am anxious like crazy)

- As soon as I finish paying off all the little expenses my move cost me, I think I will get another tattoo. I have been thinking about it for years and I don’t understand why I haven’t gotten it.

-For my summer vacation this year I don’t have anything planned, but I would love to go to Nashville Tennessee. It was supposed to be my first trip ever a few years ago and I didn’t go. So why not this summer?

-I had over 400 posts to catch up on Google reader. I went through them last night and went to bed way too late (writing for work so I don’t fall asleep)

This week is still full of things do to, stuff to buy and stuff to hang, but this weekend I do plan to finally relax (I hope)

How are you doing?

What's going on?

Here is a melting pot of the last week or so.

-I am still sick from our trip. I did go see the doctor and I am on a special diet to have a series of test done. So keeping positive.

-My god son is now out of the hospital and home. :) I will not go see him right away because I don't know yet if I am contagious and he is so tiny that I don't want to give him or his 2 sisters what ever I have.

-Work is absolutely crazy because of the government year end and our big wins across Canada.

-This weekend I am hosting another girls night of clothes exchange.

-I put together the package for my Dozen of eggs giveaway, so dont forget to participate.

-I am picture hunting for the new color of my blog for the month of April

-My best friend is moving back to town in July, she misses us too much.

-I got my Master Card cloned (but they stopped it in time)

-Me and D have taken the bed frame apart (I was so scared of it falling apart)

-This weekend I will have a 3 day weekend and it will be over 20C degrees (YAY)

And it is Easter Sunday! Woot Woot! Chocolate heaven!!!!!

Panic attacks part 2?

Well I don't know if I started to feel bad yesterday because of a panic attack or if I actually am sick. I have been in bed all day, if I move too much I feel like puking so I don't move.

My emetophobia is just making all of this worst I am sure.
I wish there was a solution but it is all in my little head.

I have to put the laptop down now, my pb toast I ate 3 hours ago is manifesting itself.
Sorry ladies no Saturday's hot guy this week.

Panic attacks

A few years ago I used to do multiple panic attacks one after the other for the stupidest things. Up to a point there was some road I was avoiding to take to go to work in case I needed to pull over to throw up.

I've been doing good the past few years, but lately they have been coming back.
I feel like I cant breathe, I cant sleep properly, I cant say what is on my mind.
My stomach is always upset and the weirdest things of all I cant cry anymore.
I am a crier. I cry for everything, when I happy, when I am mad or sad.

What is wrong with me? I don't think I need to go see a shrink again, not yet. I still feel I am strong enough...maybe I just need a vacation (in 28 days)

The day after

Yesterday I had my appointment. I was sorta in panic mode all the day, my stomach was upset and I didn't eat or drink anything.
I went very well. They froze me and less than 20 minutes later the tooth was out.

When I got home I tried to eat before I unfroze, it was nice to eat solid food.
Then it unfroze; half of me face just felt like it wanted to pop out.
D tried to cheer me up with rolo ice cream.

I took a few Motrin's and went to bed early. Slept on and off because of the pain.
This morning I feel like someone tried to rip my jaw out. I am not swelled, but I am still in pain and I think to Motrin is making my stomach upset. So no work for me today.
I have my laptop in bed and my cat.
I will start to read this (yes I know I am behind)


I will watch all the meekakitty (I think it's Sam that introduced me to this YouTuber)

And I swear as soon as I can open my jaw big enough I will have one of these babies, because ever since MmePistolio posted it on here blog I have been craving it.

Have a nice weekend and eat a good steak for me :)

Ps: Dont forget to enter my giveaway.

Wisdom tooth

The past few days I have been in pain.
One of my wisdom tooth has come out and is ready to get pulled.
At the moment it is sideways, so basically each time I move my jaw I am chewing the inside of my cheek. Apprently in my sleep I did the worst damage by sleeping on that side and this is where the pain is all coming from. I can barely open my mouth.

Thank god I do not have any infection, because I am allergic to the 2 meds they could give me. I dont know what would happen.

So tomorrow I am getting it pulled and I am scared shitless even if I had another one pulled in the past and it went well. D will be coming with me and the dentists assistant is my cousin.

I have been eating mushy food, milk shakes and Motrins (what a horrible diet)

On a positive note I got a letter in the mail from my blogger friend Sam, it took away the pain for a few minutes. Thanks Sam :)

Wish me luck for tomorrow.

Four years ago

Four years ago today I was undergoing surgery. I will not go into the details of the surgery as I'd like to keep it personal, but I will share with you this episode of my life.

I had been in pain for months, trying different healing solutions given by doctors, until one surgeon decided it was time for surgery.
I had gone through so much pain that my entire life was revolving around this. I had to plan out my days and stay at home to ease the pain all evenings. The only thing I did was go to work painfully. I lost so much weight that by the time I went into surgery I was only 96 pounds.

Then January 06 2006 came; A few hours later I was back at my parents house still under the effect of the anesthetic. Completely drugged up with pain killers for days. Some days I don't even remember.
The days and weeks that followed were terrible, so much pain, infection and side effects from the medication. I taught I would never heal and that I would never go back home and to work.

After 3 months of hellish recovery I was able to go back home and to work.
It took over 2 years for the full healing process.
As of today I am still left with a few repercussion of this, but that I can manage without any problem. I can say I am back to normal and that I am healthy.

When I think back of those years, I am so grateful for so many things.
If my parents hadn't been there I don't know what I would of done.
If I didn't have friends that supported me even if I was far away from them I would have gone crazy.
That new pair of shoes or your grades in school or not having a boyfriend seems so insignificant when you are in pain.

Health is so precious, nothing else matters when you don't have it.

2010 Resolutions

Here it goes, I've been thinking about time for a while now and here is what I've come up with.

-Eat at the kitchen table instead of on front of the TV.
-Lose 20 of the 30 pounds I gained last year.
-Go to the gym 3 times a week.
-Point out positive things (new positive label appearing)
-Get a pedicure
-Try out yoga and meditation
-Do more than one trip (Holguin, NYC, Barcelona, London)
-Clean my car more than twice a year
-Take more pictures
-Fall in love all over again
-Try not to care what others think of me
-Finish my Spanish class
-Be the best godmother I can be
-Go see the head man again
-Eat less chocolate (I have an addiction)
-Each time I buy something for someone else, I have to buy something for me
-Not cry over my short hair
-Make the bed everyday
-Take another RSP


I want 2010 to be a year of changes, I need change!

My 2009 recap

Now that the 2009 year is almost over; Here is a recap of all the event that happened in my life during this pass year.

-I started my first official blog that I would share with the rest of the world.

-We lived through D's mom getting diagnosed with cancer, getting surgery and recovering (all of that while being 3500 km away)

-Moved my sister back to Montreal (and back into my life)

-My dad got surgery in one of his hands.

-We had a fabulous trip to Cayo Guillermo (even if we got stuck 17 hours at the airport)

-Discovered I am allergic to cats.

-We found a new fabulous apartment.

-I got diagnosed with a small heart condition.

-I got my first attitude notice at work (hihihi)

-Saw Alberta in summer (much better than at -35 in winter)

-I discovered a purse and shoe addiction, but got ride of it.

-Started to go to the gym.

-I caught my first fish ever.
-My best friend moved 10hours away, came back to be with her dad diagnosed with cancer.
-Won 75$ at the 6/49 Yay!

-Gained 30 pounds :(

-Learned I was going to be a Godmother of the only boy of a set of triplets.
-I hosted my first Thanksgiving dinner with a turkey too big for my cookware.

-My grandmother passed.

-One of my good friends mom was told that this time cancer would win her over and ever since she has just been kicking his ass and doing great.

-Turned 31.

-Spoiled a few blogger friends in a few giveaways.

-Got my first Christmas cards ever in the mail (which made me so happy)

-I had one of the best Christmas in a few years.



My resolutions for 2010 are coming soon :)

Gym music

Tonight I had a doctors appointment and he told me I could go back to the gym, but to take it easy.

I have to charge up my ipod with gym music that kicks ass.
I heard lots of good songs with a good beat on the radio the past year but don't know the names of any of them.
Please help me...the only song I know is When I grow up from The pussy cats girls.

What else should I download?

Organ donation

Here in Quebec we have a great health care system. It basically pays for almost any treatments or exam that you could need.
We have a health card that is given to us at birth and with this card we can get all heath care we need without being asked a penny.

At the back of this card there is a square where you can stick a sticker and sign your name. By signing your name you accept, in case of death, to donate your organs that are still healthy.

When I was younger, I was very frighten by the idea of someone else living with my eyes, lungs or heart, but specially by the idea that I would be cut into pieces.

Today, I just see it as being somebody's hero.

So how does it work where you live?
Can you be a hero too?
Do you want to be a hero?

I sure hope to live old, but if I were to die young, I would love to be a hero.

Getting back in shape

Ok so I have lost complete motivation the past few weeks.
I've also been eating lots of crap, not sleeping well and way too anxious.

I've decided to attack myself and will try to kick my own ass.
As of tomorrow (because today I did an incredibly lazy day) I will try to follow the list:

-Eat at least one fruit a day
-Go to the gym twice a week
-Cream myself every night
-Go for a walk twice a week
-Have only junk on one of the weekends day
-Read one chapter a week of my anxiety book
-Study my spanish harder
-Leave work at work
-Paint my toe nails
-Go back to the nordic spa and get a massage(I'd like once every 2 weeks, but I'll have to talk with my bank account first)
-Keep a food journal for my next doctors appointment
-Spoil my not born yet godchild

Oh shit!!! This list is pretty long and I can think of so many other things I could add.
Let's start by this for a month and see how it goes.

Sunburn

Yeah well my day yesterday was great, until I felt my face and my hands.
I am so burnt it hurts when I laugh, when I move my eye brows or rub my hands together.
And since I had my sunglasses on most of the day, I look like a raccoon. You can also tell that I was holding a fishing rod because of the way my hands are burnt.

Yes I did put sunscreen on, but I think that when I did it was already too late. So my bottle of aloe is my new best friend :(
It really hurts, I sure hope it will turn into a tan at least.

You guys have tricks to relive the pain instead of aloe? Aloe is so sticky.

Vaccin H1N1

Plus ca va plus les médias parle de la campagne de vaccination qui se prépare.
Le gouvernement dit avoir près de 300 millions de vaccins près. Il demande même au médecin et infirmière à la retraite de se porter volontaire le temps de la campagne.

Je ne me suis jamais fait vacciné pour la grippe et je n'ai que la grippe une fois pas 7-8 ans. Il suffit simplement de se laver les mains régulièrement et de ne pas porter rien à sa bouche (vos mains, crayons, ect..)

Donc lorsque la période de vaccination sera débutée, allez-vous vous faire vacciner?

Energy

I have been going to the gym for a couple of weeks.
I taught I would start getting more and more energy, but no.
I get home, shower, cook and just want to sleep.
And I am eating more and gaining weight...something is wrong here.