In the next few days I will receive these 3 beautiful pieces of clothing that I paid a grand total of 7$. Yes 3 gorgeous pieces for 7$!!!
Do you guys ever shop online?
What site do you trust?
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
eBay
Lately I have been snooping around on eBay and since I don't have lots of money because I am on sick leave; I placed bids on items that the prices were very low and I won!
In the next few days I will receive these 3 beautiful pieces of clothing that I paid a grand total of 7$. Yes 3 gorgeous pieces for 7$!!!
Do you guys ever shop online?
What site do you trust?
In the next few days I will receive these 3 beautiful pieces of clothing that I paid a grand total of 7$. Yes 3 gorgeous pieces for 7$!!!
Do you guys ever shop online?
What site do you trust?
Sunday, September 26, 2010
Sunday September 26th Update
Hello,
This week didn't start off too good, but it did finish on a happier note.
Monday I was in panic mode all day just thinking about my phone psychiatric evaluation the next day.
Then Tuesday came and the lady called earlier than expected; we spoke for almost an hour, and then she gave my appointment for the official psychiatric evaluation at the hospital, that thank goodness it was on Friday. I was so tired of waiting and telling my story I was afraid I would have to wait another month. I was relieved and had a great day.
Wednesday the stress caught up to me and I slept in really late. My best friend came to see me in the evening. I love her so much.
Thursday was a good day. I went to see my shrink after dinner, he is always very helpful and helps me a lot to change my way of thinking. Then I went to the grocery store and saw this very cute guy in a wheelchair. It is actually the third time I see him. I wonder if he is single. How do you start a conversation with a cute guy in a grocery store?
Friday morning was my evaluation. They were 2 asking me questions. I was a bit disappointed when I got out because I had a feeling I didn't tell them everything I wanted, but we were in there for almost 2 hours. At the end of the appointment the main psychiatrist told me that on Monday I would get a call from a gentleman to start treatment/therapy. So I don't have to wait another month again. I am so grateful. I cant wait to get that call. That night I did have another panic attack. I feel very alone in this and I am scared.
Saturday had a slow start, but by dinner my friend B asked me if I wanted to hang out. I went over at his place and we went for a walk because it was so nice outside. Then he offered me to go for a motorcycle ride. I got so excited I almost had a panic attack on the spot. I had not gone for a ride in over 2 years. It was amazing, my face was in pain after smiling so much. A rush of good emotions.
Today was the christening of my godson. He was so handsome in his white tuxedo. The entire day was a success and it was a special moment to spend with most of my family. Lots of gifts, food and love.
I ate fairly well this week; I am proud of myself.
I gave myself a photo project to do and filled up 2 photo albums.
I also started to read your blogs again, which I think I missed more than I taught.
Maybe I'll start blogging again more than once a week.
I cant wait to tell you about my treatment/therapy and if I see the grocery store guy again.
Have a great week.
Caro
This week didn't start off too good, but it did finish on a happier note.
Monday I was in panic mode all day just thinking about my phone psychiatric evaluation the next day.
Then Tuesday came and the lady called earlier than expected; we spoke for almost an hour, and then she gave my appointment for the official psychiatric evaluation at the hospital, that thank goodness it was on Friday. I was so tired of waiting and telling my story I was afraid I would have to wait another month. I was relieved and had a great day.
Wednesday the stress caught up to me and I slept in really late. My best friend came to see me in the evening. I love her so much.
Thursday was a good day. I went to see my shrink after dinner, he is always very helpful and helps me a lot to change my way of thinking. Then I went to the grocery store and saw this very cute guy in a wheelchair. It is actually the third time I see him. I wonder if he is single. How do you start a conversation with a cute guy in a grocery store?
Friday morning was my evaluation. They were 2 asking me questions. I was a bit disappointed when I got out because I had a feeling I didn't tell them everything I wanted, but we were in there for almost 2 hours. At the end of the appointment the main psychiatrist told me that on Monday I would get a call from a gentleman to start treatment/therapy. So I don't have to wait another month again. I am so grateful. I cant wait to get that call. That night I did have another panic attack. I feel very alone in this and I am scared.
Saturday had a slow start, but by dinner my friend B asked me if I wanted to hang out. I went over at his place and we went for a walk because it was so nice outside. Then he offered me to go for a motorcycle ride. I got so excited I almost had a panic attack on the spot. I had not gone for a ride in over 2 years. It was amazing, my face was in pain after smiling so much. A rush of good emotions.
Today was the christening of my godson. He was so handsome in his white tuxedo. The entire day was a success and it was a special moment to spend with most of my family. Lots of gifts, food and love.
I ate fairly well this week; I am proud of myself.
I gave myself a photo project to do and filled up 2 photo albums.
I also started to read your blogs again, which I think I missed more than I taught.
Maybe I'll start blogging again more than once a week.
I cant wait to tell you about my treatment/therapy and if I see the grocery store guy again.
Have a great week.
Caro
Sunday, September 19, 2010
Sunday September 19th Update
Hi again,
I spent the beginning of the week at my parents house, but it was too intense having people watching me 24/7 so I came back home.
I love my place, but hate, absolutely hate the landlord and one of his daughter. He seems to be never working and renovating his basement every morning at 8 ever since I moved in. His daughter is 3 and she cries and screams at the top of her lungs from 8am to 9pm. There is no peace in quiet ever. No resting. I will definitively move once my lease is up next spring.
I lasted 11 days on the natural products. I was having horrible panic attacks every day, not eating anymore and night terrors. Enough! I just couldn't handle it anymore. I have been off them for 4 days, my appetite is coming back, I sleep great and barely have panic attacks and if I do they are not as intense and don't last very long.
I am getting my evaluation from the psychiatric hospital on Tuesday. I am a bit nervous, but I need this, I need their help. The entire process is extremely long, I actually hope that the evaluation goes well so that I can actually start a treatment or something. My shrink told me it is the good thing to do, he says I am there and that the hospital will help me. The author I was exchanging emails with asked me to stop writing him; he thought he could no longer help by email. I guess it is ok, but he did inspire me in many ways and I am thankful our path crossed in this virtual world.
In the week that just past I realized I have been sick leave for a month now. WOW I never thought I would have been gone that long and it is scary. Because if I look at all that has happened since I've been home, I still have a long way to go and I wont be back to work next week as I was hoping. I will be out of service for a while. I miss work. The interactions, the projects, the problems, the challenges, but I also realized that to rest I have to let go the 'I wonder whats going on' part.
I have so much time to think it is crazy. In the past week in my mind: I have moved four times, changed careers tree times, died, had a baby, had sex with an old friend, took a plane just to cross an ocean, dyed my hair red, shaved my head, got married to Lane of Big Brother, won millions at the lottery, got tied up to a hospital bed, got hit by a train, my building burnt down, I turned into a serial killer, ect....I need to find things to do to keep my mind busy.
On the 26 it is my godson's christening. I hope I will have enough energy for the ceremony. I have to buy him something, but I have no idea what. What do you buy for a boy's christening?
This weeks goal, again, is to eat 3 meals a day, exercise, yoga and paint my hallway. I have to find a hobby and start reading your blogs again.
I hope I have lots more to tell you next week.
Caro:)
I spent the beginning of the week at my parents house, but it was too intense having people watching me 24/7 so I came back home.
I love my place, but hate, absolutely hate the landlord and one of his daughter. He seems to be never working and renovating his basement every morning at 8 ever since I moved in. His daughter is 3 and she cries and screams at the top of her lungs from 8am to 9pm. There is no peace in quiet ever. No resting. I will definitively move once my lease is up next spring.
I lasted 11 days on the natural products. I was having horrible panic attacks every day, not eating anymore and night terrors. Enough! I just couldn't handle it anymore. I have been off them for 4 days, my appetite is coming back, I sleep great and barely have panic attacks and if I do they are not as intense and don't last very long.
I am getting my evaluation from the psychiatric hospital on Tuesday. I am a bit nervous, but I need this, I need their help. The entire process is extremely long, I actually hope that the evaluation goes well so that I can actually start a treatment or something. My shrink told me it is the good thing to do, he says I am there and that the hospital will help me. The author I was exchanging emails with asked me to stop writing him; he thought he could no longer help by email. I guess it is ok, but he did inspire me in many ways and I am thankful our path crossed in this virtual world.
In the week that just past I realized I have been sick leave for a month now. WOW I never thought I would have been gone that long and it is scary. Because if I look at all that has happened since I've been home, I still have a long way to go and I wont be back to work next week as I was hoping. I will be out of service for a while. I miss work. The interactions, the projects, the problems, the challenges, but I also realized that to rest I have to let go the 'I wonder whats going on' part.
I have so much time to think it is crazy. In the past week in my mind: I have moved four times, changed careers tree times, died, had a baby, had sex with an old friend, took a plane just to cross an ocean, dyed my hair red, shaved my head, got married to Lane of Big Brother, won millions at the lottery, got tied up to a hospital bed, got hit by a train, my building burnt down, I turned into a serial killer, ect....I need to find things to do to keep my mind busy.
On the 26 it is my godson's christening. I hope I will have enough energy for the ceremony. I have to buy him something, but I have no idea what. What do you buy for a boy's christening?
This weeks goal, again, is to eat 3 meals a day, exercise, yoga and paint my hallway. I have to find a hobby and start reading your blogs again.
I hope I have lots more to tell you next week.
Caro:)
Sunday, September 12, 2010
Sunday September 12th Update
Sorry I am late with this one.
It was another big week of pretty much nothing new and same old shit.
I lost a few followers, sorry about my depresssing blog, I will get better one day, soon I hope.
I am glad to tell you I am on my 9th day of the natural products and they make me feel like shit, but yes I am still taking them.
Instead of going to a Psychiatric ER this week I went directly to the Psychiatric hospital. I know I need help and some days scare me so bad. So I will see a psychiatrist very soon (within 2 weeks) and from there I hope to actualy have 'THE PLAN' that will put my life back on track. It was a terrifiying experience to go there, but it is where I need to be treated.
I spent a few days at my parents, because they are very worried for me. I feel so bad to see them so upside down, I regret telling them so many things. I actually feel in prison at their place, I will go back home on Tuesday.
I am trying to let go of the past anger, sadness and pain I lived. I read old diaries and shredded them. I realised that I miss some people so much and that others have hurt me so bad. One guy friend in particular I would like to talk to again, but I dont think it is the best time right now for me to reconnect. It is giving me a goal to get better.
I am now addicted to day time tv: Days of our lives, TheDr's, Doctor Oz, Oprah and DrPhil. I am looking forward to the new House and Grey's natomy.
This week I lost a bit more weight, but I did start walking more often again.
I still dont eat much, but I am working on it. I am having trouble sleeping, which I didnt have till this week.
I am hoping to have good news for you guys next week, I cant wait till the day I tell you, no more attacks, no more tears, back to work and back to dating.
Take care till next week.
Caro :)
PS: Eyegirl, beautiful wedding, I wish lots of love for the 2 of you for the rest of your lives.
It was another big week of pretty much nothing new and same old shit.
I lost a few followers, sorry about my depresssing blog, I will get better one day, soon I hope.
I am glad to tell you I am on my 9th day of the natural products and they make me feel like shit, but yes I am still taking them.
Instead of going to a Psychiatric ER this week I went directly to the Psychiatric hospital. I know I need help and some days scare me so bad. So I will see a psychiatrist very soon (within 2 weeks) and from there I hope to actualy have 'THE PLAN' that will put my life back on track. It was a terrifiying experience to go there, but it is where I need to be treated.
I spent a few days at my parents, because they are very worried for me. I feel so bad to see them so upside down, I regret telling them so many things. I actually feel in prison at their place, I will go back home on Tuesday.
I am trying to let go of the past anger, sadness and pain I lived. I read old diaries and shredded them. I realised that I miss some people so much and that others have hurt me so bad. One guy friend in particular I would like to talk to again, but I dont think it is the best time right now for me to reconnect. It is giving me a goal to get better.
I am now addicted to day time tv: Days of our lives, TheDr's, Doctor Oz, Oprah and DrPhil. I am looking forward to the new House and Grey's natomy.
This week I lost a bit more weight, but I did start walking more often again.
I still dont eat much, but I am working on it. I am having trouble sleeping, which I didnt have till this week.
I am hoping to have good news for you guys next week, I cant wait till the day I tell you, no more attacks, no more tears, back to work and back to dating.
Take care till next week.
Caro :)
PS: Eyegirl, beautiful wedding, I wish lots of love for the 2 of you for the rest of your lives.
Sunday, September 5, 2010
Sunday September 5th Update
Hello,
On Monday, I saw my doctor, who said to never have seen me in this state of mind in the 20 years he has been following me. He said a lot of things that I am still having problems processing. I need to see a psychiatrist with my medications to find a solution for me to take them. He said the longer I will wait the worst it will get. He talked about me staying for a short stay at the hospital, which scared the hell out of me.
On Tuesday, I saw my heart doctor I had been waiting for results, I have a little arrhythmia and a heart murmur, but basically my heart is healthy. It all goes with the anxieties that I have been living. That day was horrible, I had trouble putting one foot in front of the other, I cried and slept all day.
On Wednesday, pretty much the same scenario. I did go to the Psychiatric ER with the little note that the doctor gave me to see a psychiatrist asap, but you have to got through the regular doctor even if you have a note. There was more than 8 hours of waiting and I was in panic mode so I went back home to bed.
On Thursday I woke up and wasn't feeling to bad, I hit the road for the afternoon to go bring a beer and a letter to a dear friend that passed 4 years ago, asking him for a little guidance. I was able to walk that day. I got a phone call from a rental agency telling me that I had not rented a bike in 3 years and that they had a special for me...was it a sign?
On Friday, I goggled all day to find a way or medication without side effects. There in no chemical pills without any side effects. But I did find a natural products, the 5-HTP. I went to have dinner with D at his place, apparently I need to eat I am too skinny (down to 117)
Yesterday, I drove to my parents with the intention of spending a few days there. They took me to a natural store and we bought the 5-HTP and I took my first dose. It is a humongous step for me to take a pill and swallow it. A few things happen after I took it and I was too emotional so I decided to drive back home. I had a terrible panic attack once I was here for about an hour, but I fell asleep not to long after.
Today had a slow start in and out of bed, until I decided to clean my place and read. I had a little nap since the crying kid downstairs was out and then went to the grocery store as I was out of everything. I cooked up a good meal and took my second dose of the medication with it, again pat on the back I am proud of myself. I am a little shaky right now, but I know my shakiness is all a product of my fear. I will now go walk again and try to calm myself down and when I get back I will have ice cream.
The plan for the week: keep on taking the medication and upping the dosage slowly (I need to take at least 2 a day, preferably 3 a day) but I will go at my own rhythm not to freak out completely and end up not taking any at all.
I also want to start walking everyday and again try to eat 3 meals a day (which is very hard at the moment)
I also have to continue exploring myself, accept who I am and what I can and what I can not change.
Good week to all of you.
Caro :)
PS To all the East coasters I hope Earl was gentle with you.
On Monday, I saw my doctor, who said to never have seen me in this state of mind in the 20 years he has been following me. He said a lot of things that I am still having problems processing. I need to see a psychiatrist with my medications to find a solution for me to take them. He said the longer I will wait the worst it will get. He talked about me staying for a short stay at the hospital, which scared the hell out of me.
On Tuesday, I saw my heart doctor I had been waiting for results, I have a little arrhythmia and a heart murmur, but basically my heart is healthy. It all goes with the anxieties that I have been living. That day was horrible, I had trouble putting one foot in front of the other, I cried and slept all day.
On Wednesday, pretty much the same scenario. I did go to the Psychiatric ER with the little note that the doctor gave me to see a psychiatrist asap, but you have to got through the regular doctor even if you have a note. There was more than 8 hours of waiting and I was in panic mode so I went back home to bed.
On Thursday I woke up and wasn't feeling to bad, I hit the road for the afternoon to go bring a beer and a letter to a dear friend that passed 4 years ago, asking him for a little guidance. I was able to walk that day. I got a phone call from a rental agency telling me that I had not rented a bike in 3 years and that they had a special for me...was it a sign?
On Friday, I goggled all day to find a way or medication without side effects. There in no chemical pills without any side effects. But I did find a natural products, the 5-HTP. I went to have dinner with D at his place, apparently I need to eat I am too skinny (down to 117)
Yesterday, I drove to my parents with the intention of spending a few days there. They took me to a natural store and we bought the 5-HTP and I took my first dose. It is a humongous step for me to take a pill and swallow it. A few things happen after I took it and I was too emotional so I decided to drive back home. I had a terrible panic attack once I was here for about an hour, but I fell asleep not to long after.
Today had a slow start in and out of bed, until I decided to clean my place and read. I had a little nap since the crying kid downstairs was out and then went to the grocery store as I was out of everything. I cooked up a good meal and took my second dose of the medication with it, again pat on the back I am proud of myself. I am a little shaky right now, but I know my shakiness is all a product of my fear. I will now go walk again and try to calm myself down and when I get back I will have ice cream.
The plan for the week: keep on taking the medication and upping the dosage slowly (I need to take at least 2 a day, preferably 3 a day) but I will go at my own rhythm not to freak out completely and end up not taking any at all.
I also want to start walking everyday and again try to eat 3 meals a day (which is very hard at the moment)
I also have to continue exploring myself, accept who I am and what I can and what I can not change.
Good week to all of you.
Caro :)
PS To all the East coasters I hope Earl was gentle with you.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)