30 days of truth -Day 30

Day 30 → A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself.

This one I will keep to myself.

----------------------------------------------

It was a long month and I think I will take a break from this blog for a while.

I hope you guys have a fabulous Christmas and New Year, all my best to all of you.
Don't drink and drive. Laugh all you can and take many pictures.
If I have something extraordinary happen to me I will let you know.

Love,

Caroline

I leave you on a few lyrics that have been going through my mond the past few days:

I forgot that I might see
So many beautiful things
I forgot that I might need
To find out what life could bring

30 days of truth -Day 29

Day 29 → Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.

I want to start putting myself first.
I want to stop thinking of others before me.
Why? because I want to be me, to be free.

30 days of truth -Day 28

Day 28 → What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?

If I was pregnant I would completely freak out.
It just isn't for me.

30 days of truth -Day 27

Day 27 → What’s the best thing going for you right now?

Honestly I don't know.

My life has been on hold for the past few months, there's not really anything happening.

30 days of truth -Day 26

Day 26 → Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?

Yes.
When? In this past year.
Why? because it hurts so bad inside.

As most of you know, if you have been following since this summer, I am getting help and working on myself.
Everyday is a challenge and a fight against my disorders (I now know what I have), but as I said in yesterdays post, I am a fighter.

30 days of truth -Day 25

Day 25 → The reason you believe you’re still alive today.

I believe I am still alive today:
Because I am a fighter.
Because even if I go through some hard ass times, I find a way to go on.
Because I am curious to see what the future holds.

30 days of truth -Day 24

Day 24 → Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)

This playlist is dedicated to my dad.

1-Le plus fort c'est mon père -Lynda Lemay
2-Pump up the jam -Technotronics
3-Who let the dogs out -Baha men
4-Pink shoe laces -Dodie Stevens
5-At the end of a rainbow -Tommy Edwards

Dad,

You are my hero and I am your baby girl.
You have a way of understanding me that no one does.
The walks and talks we have are precious moments I cherish.
Our long hours spent fishing are golden to me.
I love how you cant sing, but sing the lyrics of some of these songs.
All of these songs are craved in my heart because of you.
I love you.

Caroline

30 Days of truth -Day 23

Day 23 → Something you wish you had done in your life.

In 2001 I got accepted in college to become a paramedic in a city 2 and a half hours away. So I moved and started to look for a part time job as I would be going to school. But the thing was that only my academic file was accepted. When I got there, there was a skill test of 11 minutes with weights and CPR and a bunch of stuff. I knew about it and I was working out and I had not plan that I would fail it. You did get to try it out a second time a month later, but unfortunately I could not find work so I moved back to my hometown and didn't do the second try out. As of today I wish I would have done it, my life could have been so different today.

30 days of truth -Day 22

Day 22 → Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.


Over 10 years ago I broke up with a guy that I now believe was my soul mate.
I was young and stupid. I did not know what love was and got scared by it.
I didn't know what I wanted in a man then.
Today I know, but he is taken and I would never get in between them.
If he is my soul mate, the love of my life, one day we will be together again.

30 days of truth -Day 21

Day 21 → (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?

I would be there in a heartbeat.

30 Days of truth -Day 20

Day 20 → Your views on drugs and alcohol.

I absolutely hate drugs.

Alcohol I don't really have a problem with it as long as you drink responsibly. And of course don't drink and drive.

Since I don't drink, I want all of you to pour yourselves a glass of wine and make a toast for me, cuz today I am a little bit older.

30 days of truth -Day 19

Day 19 → What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?

When it comes to religion I am pretty indecisive. I am not sure where my faith stands.
I have no problem with people who have found a religion that fits them. All I want is for people to be respectful to each other no matter what their beliefs are.

Politics...I think it's all a bunch of BS. I believe politician tell you what you want to hear when it comes time for you to vote for them. Asides from that they never come forward and you never hear about them, except of course if they are lookiing for a new way to make money.

30 days of truth -Day 18

Day 18 → Your views on gay marriage.

I believe that love has no sex.
I believe that if the person you fall in love with and completes you is the same sex as you are, you are lucky to have founds that person.

30 days of truth -Day 17

Day 17 → A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.

The Long Hard Road Out of Hell by Marilyn Manson

It is his first own biography and it is an amazing book to read.
You discover how he turned from a simple boy to Rock Star.
All the glory, power that the medias gave him.
The man that lost love and a child.

Even if you are not a fan you should read it.

30 days of truth -Day 16

Day 16 → Someone or something you definitely could live without.

I will definitely have to say snow and cold!

I am not sold to the hot warm tropics, but I sure as hell hate to shovel and to be cold.

30 days of truth -Day15

Day 15 → Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.

Something: Material things we can all live without, they are all luxuries.

Someone: I was once told that no one is irreplaceable. I am still not sure if I believe in this or not. I believe that everyone is unique and that if they die they will live on for ever in our hearts and minds.

30 days of truth -Day 14

Day 14 → A hero that has let you down. (letter)

I believe that there is no hero that has ever let me down.
I thought about my childhood, movies and my life and I cant find one.

Superman is still super even if the actor died.
My dad is still a hero to me even if he is getting older.

I believe everyone can be a hero to somebody else and that it is only human to make mistakes, but it doesn't take away the heroic actions that you might have done.

30 days of truth -Day 13

Day 13 → A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.)

I will have to dedicate this letter to 3 music artists.

Dear Breaking Benjamin, Richard Marx and Linkin Park,

I discovered each one of you when I was in changing periods of my life.
Your music helped me put word on emotions that I did not know how to express.
Your lyrics reached me deep down inside and gave me a voice.
You gave me hope and made me smile.
You deserve to be out there and recognized for your talent.

Your fan Caroline

PS: Richard I did write a song for you, sent it to your fan club when I was in my early teens, but never got an answer.

30 days of truth -Day 12

Day 12 → Something you never get compliments on.

This is another hard one, because it also means on what would I like to be complimented on.

I would like to be complimented on my way of dealing with my finances maybe.
Each time I set myself a money goal I always reach it.
But then these goal I dont scream out to the world, so it is kind of hard to get compliments.

30 days of truth -Day 11

Day 11 → Something people seem to compliment you the most on.

Wow this is a hard one, I cant seem to find one thing that sticks out.
Once in a while I get a compliment on my hair or how skinny I am or how I have nice long legs, but I wouldn't say that it happens very often.
At work I got called 'the machine' a few times, so I guess maybe my efficiency.

30 days of truth -Day 10

Day 10 → Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.

There is no one who I wish I did not know.
Every person that is or was to a point in my life from coworker, friend to lover, I do not wish I did not know.
To a point each individual has made me grow into who I am today.

30 days of truth -Day 9

Day 09 → Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.

His name is Claude-Étienne.

We were close for a few of years.
We shared moments that I will never forget.
In the past few years we both met people and slowly our friendship drifted.
I miss him.

30 days of truth -Day 8

Day 08 → Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.

His name is René.

He manipulated me, used me and hurt me so bad.
He made me afraid to sleep at night, afraid of talking to others.
He made me run away and hide because I was so scared of him.

Once I saw a guy that looked like him in a bar, I just started to shake, but that was only a few months after and thank god it was not him.

I never saw him again and I have no clue how I would react, but for sure he made my life hell and damaged me.

30 days of truth -Day 7

Day 07 → Someone who has made your life worth living for.

I would say aside from family, my best friend Dominique.

We've been best friends for over 20 years.
We've had the best and worst times together.
We've cried for joy and for sadness's.
No matter how many miles were between us, she was there for me.
I am so grateful that she was put on my path in this life.

30 days of truth -Day 6

Day 06 → Something you hope you never have to do.

I hope I never have to make the decision of pulling the plug on a loved one.

30 days of truth -Day 5

Day 05 → Something you hope to do in your life.


I hope I get the chance to travel to Ireland and run across green fields of grass with tones of white sheep's.

30 days of truth -Day 4

Day 04 → Something you have to forgive someone for.

In high school I introduced my best friend (girl) to my best friend (boy) and she turned him against me. As of today I still don't know why. It took years for him and me to talk again and things never were the same again. We lost touch and then I found him on Facebook, but we never reconnected. I still haven't forgave her.

30 days of truth -Day 3

Day 03 → Something you have to forgive yourself for.

I have to forgive myself for not following my heart.
There are a few situations in the past that I did not let my heart lead the way and I should have.
But in a way I don't want to forgive myself, because even if these happened years ago they still bring a smile to my face even if I didn't follow my heart at the time.

30 days of truth -Day 2

Day 02 → Something you love about yourself.

I love that I am curious.
Sometimes it can be a flaw, but sometimes it just leads me to amazing discoveries.

30 days of truth -Day 1

For the month of November I decided to take the blog challenge 30 days of truth. I saw few of you do it and I wanted to do it as well.

Here are the 30 days:

Day 01 → Something you hate about yourself.
Day 02 → Something you love about yourself.
Day 03 → Something you have to forgive yourself for.
Day 04 → Something you have to forgive someone for.
Day 05 → Something you hope to do in your life.
Day 06 → Something you hope you never have to do.
Day 07 → Someone who has made your life worth living for.
Day 08 → Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.
Day 09 → Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.
Day 10 → Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.
Day 11 → Something people seem to compliment you the most on.
Day 12 → Something you never get compliments on.
Day 13 → A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.)
Day 14 → A hero that has let you down. (letter)
Day 15 → Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living
without it.
Day 16 → Someone or something you definitely could live without.
Day 17 → A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.
Day 18 → Your views on gay marriage.
Day 19 → What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?
Day 20 → Your views on drugs and alcohol.
Day 21 → (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?
Day 22 → Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.
Day 23 → Something you wish you had done in your life.
Day 24 → Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)
Day 25 → The reason you believe you’re still alive today.
Day 26 → Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?
Day 27 → What’s the best thing going for you right now?
Day 28 → What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?
Day 29 → Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.
Day 30 → A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself.

Here it goes

Day 01 → Something you hate about yourself.

I hate that I look so young. I am tired of people being so surprise about my age.
I would love to look like an adult, but I am who I am. There is no clothes, haircut or makeup that could change that. I actually look like a kid that is playing dress up when I try to put make up on.

I know you guys will all tell me that I should be glad to look young and that when I am way older I will be very happy about this. But right now I hate it.