Thursday, May 20, 2010

Past-Present-Future

For the past few weeks/months I have been in a gray area in my life.
Nothing is clear, nothing is black or white.
It seems that I constantly have periods like this one in my life.

In all areas of my life (family, love, friends, work) at the moment there are things bugging me, keeping me awake at night, bringing tears to my eyes.

I feel like I want to share and I feel that I share too much.
I feel the need to talk, but I need to shut up.

I have to learn how to let go and let things fall into place by themselves, but it is such a hard process.
I have to learn how to stop the what if's.

I have so many questions in my head, so many emotions in my heart.
I don't know how to deal with all of this without hurting myself or others.

I dream about moments of the past.
I dream about moments of the future.
And I seem to be avoiding moments of the present.

12 comments:

ChinkyGirLMeL said...

Hey sweetie. Sounds like you have a lot of things bothering you right now. Whatever they maybe, I'm just an email away. Here's my email addy: chinkygirlmel@hotmail.com

I hope things will be better soon.
sending you some positive vibes

Just Add Walter said...

I am sorry I haven't been around much but I have been thinking of you often. I am sorry you have been going through so much and wish I could take it all away.

L'impulsive montréalaise said...

Câlin. Prends soin de toi !
Et trouve-toi un endroit de confiance où parler de tout ça. Tu en as besoin ma chère.

Annie said...

So sorry!! Thinking on you.

Josie said...

Bella,

Si je peux être une poubelle à parole, il m'en fera plaisir. Ça me peine de te savoir si troublée.
La vie est pourtant si légère et simple!

J'ose espérer que je ne suis point dans tes déceptions et si oui, j'ose espérer que tu m'en parleras. C'est important parce que personne ne peut deviner tes attentes et tes craintes. Si elles ne sont pas réglées par la suite, au moins les auras-tu sorties de ta tête.

xxxx

Ren du Braque said...

Au lieu de parler de tes problème tout d'abord, je te dis que ton billet est magnifiquement poétique.

Je réécris ta phrase, "It seems that I constantly have periods like this one in my life." Le dessein de ta vie commencerait-il de se révéler ? Observes, regardes, écoutes et puis comprends et réagis (s'il le faut)... Il n'est pas trop tard. Tu as du temps.

N'oublie ni le présent ni de rêver.

Karena said...

It is a good time in life to journal (or blog) your thoughts your dreams, your passions!! Every week take time to do something special just for you!

Karena

Art by Karena

Sara said...

I am right here if you need me! Please feel free to email me any time :)

I am back and I think your wishes worked perfectly :) x

Bossy Betty said...

You capture here feelings we've all had at one time or another. Hang in there. Life is complicated, isn't it?

Krysten @ After 'I Do' said...

Sounds like you've got a lot rattling around in your head right now. I hope you get it figured out!

Bearette24 said...

"I have to learn how to let go and let things fall into place by themselves, but it is such a hard process.
I have to learn how to stop the what if's." I think we all struggle with this...

Lil Landy said...

Your comments warm my heart, and reminds me why I continue to write my life out.
Life is a constant process of growth, and I'm finding the hard way that we can't hold on to our past, or put too much focus on the future. We have to live for today, b/c today is all we have.