Sunday September 12th Update

Sorry I am late with this one.

It was another big week of pretty much nothing new and same old shit.
I lost a few followers, sorry about my depresssing blog, I will get better one day, soon I hope.

I am glad to tell you I am on my 9th day of the natural products and they make me feel like shit, but yes I am still taking them.

Instead of going to a Psychiatric ER this week I went directly to the Psychiatric hospital. I know I need help and some days scare me so bad. So I will see a psychiatrist very soon (within 2 weeks) and from there I hope to actualy have 'THE PLAN' that will put my life back on track. It was a terrifiying experience to go there, but it is where I need to be treated.

I spent a few days at my parents, because they are very worried for me. I feel so bad to see them so upside down, I regret telling them so many things. I actually feel in prison at their place, I will go back home on Tuesday.

I am trying to let go of the past anger, sadness and pain I lived. I read old diaries and shredded them. I realised that I miss some people so much and that others have hurt me so bad. One guy friend in particular I would like to talk to again, but I dont think it is the best time right now for me to reconnect. It is giving me a goal to get better.

I am now addicted to day time tv: Days of our lives, TheDr's, Doctor Oz, Oprah and DrPhil. I am looking forward to the new House and Grey's natomy.

This week I lost a bit more weight, but I did start walking more often again.
I still dont eat much, but I am working on it. I am having trouble sleeping, which I didnt have till this week.

I am hoping to have good news for you guys next week, I cant wait till the day I tell you, no more attacks, no more tears, back to work and back to dating.

Take care till next week.

Caro :)

PS: Eyegirl, beautiful wedding, I wish lots of love for the 2 of you for the rest of your lives.