First Halloween

Today I spent the day with my godson, it was his first Halloween!



He is so cute!

Happy New Year!

Many years ago when I was in college I had a little dark side and I read numerous books on witchcraft and magic. I used to be completely fascinated by it.

Halloween, or Samhain to witches (an Irish/Gaelic term pronounced "sow-wen"), signifies the beginning of the New year.

Samhain is an important sun festival on the Wheel of the Year, which marks the eight important Sabbats, or festivals, that a practicing witch follows. These holidays are based on rituals dating back thousands of years and mark important seasonal dates like the equinoxes and solstices.


Witches typically celebrate Samhain by doing an evaluation of the past year (or turn of the Wheel) and making a list of what worked and what didn't. Then they banish what they no longer want in their life.

A few years in a row I did celebrate the new year on October 31st. Today it makes me smile and brings back so many beautiful memories. I will cherish then for a long time.

Happy New Year to all you witches out there!

Friends

I've just finished watching all 10 seasons of friends.
I know I am a little behind in time.
I had never seen the last 3 seasons, and wow.
I got to say it was obvious that Rachel and Ross were going to end up together, but I was so sure that Phoebe and Joey would also.
I have to say it wasn't my favorite TV series. It was good, but not in my top five.

What should I watch next? or maybe I have I been watching way too much TV?

Fall

I got to say I love fall and days like today.
I went for a walk and just had to take a picture of this street.


It was a nice warm 68 outside with loads of sun.
Warm enough to wear only a big wool sweater.
Cool enough to make you cherish the rays of sunshine that touch your skin.
A smooth breeze that brings all the smells of fall to your nose.
Bunches of leaves you can just run across.

How was your Wednesday on this beautiful day of fall?

Pain

Here is a quote I found the reflects the way I have been feeling the past few days:

Pain, it comes in all forms. The small twinge, a bit of soreness, the random pain, the normal pains that we live with everyday. Then there's the kind of pain you can't ignore. A level of pain so great that it blocks out everything else; makes the rest of your world fade away until all we can think about is how much we hurt. How we manage our pain is up to us.
Pain, you just have to ride it out, hope it goes away on its own, hope the wound that caused it heals. There are no solutions, no easy answers. You just breathe deep and wait for it to subside. Most of the time pain can be managed, but sometimes the pain gets you when you least expect it, hits way below the belt and doesn't let up. Pain, you just have to fight through, because the truth is you can't outrun it, and life always makes more.

Ebay part 2

This week I should be receiving this gorgeous dress. It was my last purchase I did a couple of weeks ago when I went on my Ebay shopping spree.


All the other stuff was great but it was all too small. This one should fit as there are no sleeves :) It's nice to buy yourself a little something to make you feel pretty.

My song of the week

The kid in you

As we grow up we want to become adults and know nothing at all of what comes with it. Then later most of us let go of the kid in us and go on living our adult life and forget how fascinating life's little things can be. We are now grown ups with responsibilities that sometimes we have trouble accepting or dealing with.


Every week I learn a little bit more about myself through therapy. This week I learned that in some areas of my life I stayed a kid. It was hard to take in as blindly I thought everyone was like me. Some of it is good and keeps me young at heart, but some of it made me fragile and naive in this world of adults.

Being a kid was so easy.

Here are some things about me that never grew up that are not negative:
I still want to trick-or-treat.
I keep a stuffed animal on my bed.
I count the presents under the Christmas tree.
I have to sleep with the closet door close, because it give me nightmares.
I cant resist jumping into puddles of water when I see them.

What does the kid in you do?

I like to watch

I saw this sticker on a mail box a few days ago.


A bit pervert don't you think? or is it just some nice thing like neighborhood watch?

Murder

**FYI you might not like this post if you have or love kids.**

Did I ever tell you guys about my lovely neighbors from downstairs?
It is a family of 4. Husband, wife, 8 years old little girl and 3 years old little girl. They are also my landlords. I signed a nice lease of 14 months and I have been here for 6 months. And all I want to do is kill the 3 years old.

First you need to know that there is absolutely no insonorisation in this building.
I can hear them peeing, brushing there teeth, I can tell when there are crumbs on the sofa and what type of wood they want to use for the new stairs.

So this 3 year old rules this family like crazy. She yells and cries all the time until she gets what she wants (I figured) One day, she went on for over 2 hours strait. The parents never say a word, never yell or send her to her room. They just let her go at it until it pushes me to find a plan on how to get ride of her tiny little body.

She (I believe) has the need to be loud. She runs up and down the hallway, rides her BigWheel into the front door 17 times in a row. (btw there door and my door are not sound proof either) Every morning she yells because her sister leave. She yells and cries if her mom doesn't have her in her arm while putting clothes on the clothes line. She just yells and cry all the time like her legs would be ripped from her body or like her nails would be pulled one by one with vise grips.

I watch movie in bed with my laptop on my knees and she cries louder than my movie.
Sometimes I scream as if I was on the phone talking to someone and yell shut up, but it doesn't work and her parents must think I am crazy.
Sometimes I put my ipod on (maximum volume) and start vacuuming and dropping things on the floor intentionally for them to get the message that they are not alone in this building. But she still goes at it. They don't realize it.

Oh and I've talk with the mom. She is a stay at home mom and she will not send her baby girl ( annoying little creature) to daycare before she starts school, so she is going to be there every day all day for a couple of more years.

I have to stay here 8 more months. I'll never be able to do it. And here in Quebec it isn't that easy to brake a lease or to move/find a new place when it isn't July 1st and I am far from having enough money to hire movers.

Sometimes I wish I would of stayed with D. Things were not working out for us as a couple but at least he wasn't yelling at 7 am and riding his bike into the front door.

Now I am making up plans in my mind that I don't really like and they all end up with one less kid and me in jail, so do you have any suggestions before it is too late?

Music & Lyrics

I found this while goggling around.


Mine at the moment is Grace by Kate Havnevik; What's yours?

Write to the future

What is 'Write to the future'?

''In 1999, to celebrate the new millennium, Hallmark Canada sold a special envelope whereby consumers inserted a letter, card, photograph or memorabilia to be sent to themselves or a loved one ten years in the future. The envelopes were mailed to Hallmark Canada to be stored to be mailed in late 2009 or early 2010.''

In 1999 I was too busy being on my own for the first time and moving to the big city. Things likes this didn't get any of my attention, especially that all people talked about at the time was how the world would crash/end on the stroke of midnight that new year.

I don't know if it was also done in other countries, bit I am curious if any of you recall this or have participated.

What would you write to yourself or to a loved one for in ten years?
Basically you would receive a letter from your past, weird?
How would you react this year receiving a letter today from an old friend or family member from ten years ago?
If that person didn't tell you would you freak out?
Would you like to try do this?

Sunday October 10th update

Hi Guys!

After a long conversation with my shrink we agreed that I talk way too much about me and my condition. So this will be my last update and I will start blogging again about anything that crosses my mind that I would like to share with you. Of course if there is major breaking news I will keep you posted.

Here is a picture of my angel godson Thomas

The Da Vinci Code

Yesterday I watched The Da Vinci Code again (I am a Tom Hanks fan)
But my way of looking and understanding the movie was different this time for me.


I am having lots of question about God and Jesus and our history.
I don't know what I exactly believe in and where stands my faith.
Maybe I am thinking way too much these days or maybe it's actually something inside of me, a strength that is slowly coming out to help me go through life.

What if it could be true that Mary Magdalene was married to Jesus and carrying his child?
How could our world and visions change?
What did you think about the movie?

Sunday October 3rd update

Hi,

Pretty much same old stuff as last week.

I don't start treatment/therapy till approximately the 21st.

This week my shrink made me realize some stuff about myself that I did not like. I have been trying to deal with it since Thursday and I am having a hard time.

I see my family doctor on Monday, so I'll get to know what is in my psychiatric evaluation and my official diagnostic.

I'll blog again this week about something else.

Caro

PS: I didn't see the grocery guy.