Friday, July 9, 2010

No reward

This week is pay week and I did not earn a reward.

The past 2 weeks have been worst than I could have ever imagined.
I have been going through an emotional and physical roller coaster.
I have discovered corners of my mind and physical sensations that completely freaked me out. I now know how powerful the mind is and I need to make it work in a positive way.

I had Carrie over for a couple of days and my subconscious mind did not let me have a good time like I wish I would of.
When she was here I barely ate, and then it got worst, I was 3 days eating only one piece of toast a day.

I quit my job and signed the contract at another job, but finally had to make the decision not to leave my current job, as again my subconscious mind had more control over me than my mind.

I got into an argument with my mom and although I told her how I really feel, I regret how it has hurt her, but I needed to say certain things.

I have been getting help, but I have reach a point where I need a more specific type of help. So I got this process going in fast forward mode.

I am not writing this to get pity or anything. I am just sharing with you my life in the past two weeks.

I have fabulous and extremely comprehensive people around me and I am so grateful.

I am not depressed, but I am facing difficult issues that I should of dealt with years ago. I believe I am on the road to getting better and that I will a better person after all of this is over.

For now I need to rest, focus of positive things and cherish the people that are standing by me in this journey.

Thank you for being there.

11 comments:

ChinkyGirLMeL said...

Hey sweetie. Sounds like you are going through a lot right now. Writing and thinking about what is bothering you definitely helps to try to think of ways to solve or get through these problems. In time everything will fall into place. Sending you some virtual hugs.

L'impulsive montréalaise said...

Câlin. J'pense que y'a des moments où y'a juste ça qui fait du bien.

Genybou said...

You can do it :D and remember that whatever happens I will always be here for you

Ren du Braque said...

La vie est un don dans laquelle il n'est pas obligatoire d'avoir de bonnes semaines tout le temps. Il semble qu'il y a un conflit entre tes cerveaux... Il faut du temps pour le résoudre, du courage et de la patience.

Melly said...

It'll all be ok Caro. We are here now and will be here, regardless of how long it takes before you're feeling back to your 'normal'.

Andhari said...

I think everyone in their life will come to these similar situations. It doesn't mean you're depressed, Caro, I very much agree. Things will get better. I hope you get the chance to just sit down to chill and think to figure out what you want. You're a strong woman, everything will fall into place. I wish you all the best :)

Gracie said...

I really hope that you are able to work through this. Sometimes these situations do happen and it can be hard to deal with. Don't worry you have all our support! Prayers and thoughts your way.

P.S. I think I do have a few more of the fairy pictures. I will try and find them and post them on the blog soonish.

Ashley said...

aww I understand...life throws curve balls and you have to roll with it...like you said just think postive it makes a world of a difference !! Thanks for your wonderful advice you left me the other day I appreciate you :)

Ashley said...

aww I understand...life throws curve balls and you have to roll with it...like you said just think postive it makes a world of a difference !! Thanks for your wonderful advice you left me the other day I appreciate you :)

Juliet said...

Oh no! You seemed so excited about the new job. I hope the old job realized that they'd be lost without you and begged you to stay!

Annie said...

Don't worried, next time you are going to have a reward and enjoy it.