This morning

It's been a while since I left you guys explore the inside of my head, so here is a glimpse of a moment from this morning...

This morning it is not going well in my head.
Actually it never goes well, but this morning it's worst.
I had an appointment with the psychiatrist earlier today and I left in pieces.
I dont know if I will ever get through this.
Dark thoughts battle each other in my head.
I dont understand why I am here.
I dont see any future, I feel condemned.
Apparently the only solution is sold in little tablets.
Sometimes I tell myself that if I took the whole bottle in one shot maybe all the pain would go away, maybe I would go away.
But non, I am too curious, too much of a dreamer.

I dont want to die, but I dont know how to live.